I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
