Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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