Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she peed on how many people?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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