Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
