Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize