That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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