Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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