I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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