We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
two words...techno handjob
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
