I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I will be naked everywhere
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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