Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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