dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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