Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time

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(619): View more from California

guys are not supposed to queef...right?

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(650): View more from California

I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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(770): View more from Georgia

i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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(561): View more from Florida

I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Sadly that explains a lot.

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(561): View more from Florida

ok first of all what the fuck

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