I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
