Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
