Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
