I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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