this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
