More tranny stories later!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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