I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
