she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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