Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
