thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
