She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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