Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
