All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
