It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
