Jerry, you need to find god
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dick very happy bro
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize