it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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