I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's blow job season.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize