she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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