I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Houston, we have a squirter
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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