I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
