So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
