O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
