It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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