The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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