you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
