Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Kiss
Puke
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
