I think I just saw someone hide a body.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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