After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
