pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
