Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
