Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just gift wrapped bread.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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