So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
