i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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