I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
