Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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