K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
