remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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