i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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