they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
