Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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