I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
