Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize