Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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