So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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