did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
