How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
