it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
