Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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