My underwear smells like fireworks.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
