is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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